who would win

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Samuel L. Jackson.

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Oranges, but mangos > oranges

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Probably Didka.

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http://notdan.deviantart.com/

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the orange. although Denzel Washington's facial structure is so symmetrical that parallel lines start crying, the orange is sphere; no risk of a fat nose or buckteeth here, plus everyone and their mothers know that the sphere is the coolest 2d shape.

also, the orange is named after, well....the color orange. I don't see health-nuts eat their Special K with a 'yellow' next to it, and I don't see any underwear companies referring to themselves as a 'heaping pile of shit'. not for granny-panty mass-production, but for advertising a retired basketball god to flail every available body part in celebration of his new underwear collection; otherwise known as a tragedy.

another reason the orange is better is because they taste good. I don't want to know what Denzel Washington tastes like, and I'm fairly certain nobody else does either. though luckily I have a cannibal here that has agreed to do whatever I want with him in exchange for gnawing on my leg (which is why I agreed to this, because I'm practically walking on toothpicks).

when I asked him what he thought Denzel Washington would taste like, he shouted "LOIK A HARLESS BEYA!". I asked why, and in response, grabbed a nearby TV remote and turned the TV on. I had no clue what was to be proven because I thought it was just savage imbecility, but I was amused at his expression when he turned the channel to Culinary Arts, where some senile woman was chopping celery.

"Not cannaballistic appetite it seems.....oh wait, is cannaballistic even a word?" was going on in my head, but I was shocked when he was drooling at the Arthur program that he so generously blared at full volume (the ringing in my ears was so loud that my neighbors could hear it over the TV). the savage was screaming "THERE THERE! ISSAH HAIRLESS BEAR!", pointing at Arthur and his family whenever they appeared (and showing a curious sign of disgust when that one kid with the pear-shaped head came on). Arthur was clearly a hairless bear, but he seemed to be interested in his sister, D.W.

I was about a nanosecond away from cutting my fucking ear off because of how irrelevant a child's cartoon character was to Denzel Washington, and then I realised "Denzel Washington..D.W.!" He had given Denzel Washington a hairless bear taste because a hairless bear cartoon character with had the name of Washington's initials! Fucking brilliant! I hereby revoke any words of mental degrading to any and all savages, because the first genius I met is one!

I doubt the savage knew that I was posting his phenomenal observations because he was too busy lacerating my quadreceps, but here's a diagram that actually gives my previous words meaning:


Denzel Washington:

Respectable actor, Academy Award winner
Born in New York
Has four children, one of which has a deformed hand; which has nothing to do with this comparison, but I thought I'd add it in to give the racists some comfort.



Denzel Washington

Won the Kindergarten Spelling Bee (which was unsprisingly between her and her dolls)
Born in "Elwood City"
Became furious at one point because she wasn't allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve; this was evidently the only opportunity in her lifetime that she could stay up until midnight, because we all know midnight comes once every millenium.



now do you see? the two are almost eerily relative to eachother! that brings up the question: Orange, or Hairless Bear? but I'll play it safe and leave that one to you, I can't afford mental help anymore. so hire a maiden in advance to clean up the mess, i.e. blood and guts strewn about due to a swallowed grenade.

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yay he wins <3/3

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I'm a hermy, yes, those were really boobs. Cock is my friend .

(O.o) copy bunny into ur sig
(u u) 2 help him achieve world domination.

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All of you people are retards.
Oranges Vs Denzel Washington
Gay stuff

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And Reticle your a dumbass

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Everyone loves you!

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DF doesn't have much a battle stance at this point!

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ololololololololol

Doc, he insulted you too: "All of you people are retards."

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fotochop: make posts that actually get you involved
fotochop: try and stand out, then I'll consider some shit ;-)
fotochop: but you know in the end I'll make a sig for you anyway, I can't now though
fotochop: photoshop is being poopy from being used
MehmetheartsAna: Like how?
fotochop: slow
fotochop: like you know that oranges vs denzel is a retarded argument
fotochop: why don't you just call all of them retards
fotochop: and then get devil frame and stuff on your ass
MehmetheartsAna: I changed it
fotochop: no wait, say
fotochop: "And Reticle your a dumbass"
fotochop: don't say "you're a dumbass", say "your a dumbass"
MehmetheartsAna: there
fotochop: nice one, you'll get a sig by tomorrow

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He still called you retarded?

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No I Didn't

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Yes you did.

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im so fucking smart ask doctor

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Brendan you're cool. Devil is a kiss ass.

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not now, but maybe after you talk to this guy:



I'm referring to the blue man, he'll teach you everything if you wish; and for us, make the second wish to make the first wish teach you puncuation before anything. but right now he's a little busy giving Muzik, his girlfriend, and his golden Arabian iPod a ride on a carpet. and now you're probably thinking "Oh, he's going to refer to the monkey as Ronin or Dev-il." but the monkey, was actually a monkey. his name is aboo.




and here's another potential response:



again, I know what you're thinki-- oh wait a minute!

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-have her walk it off. no feelings can be so wounded that a couple of laps around the black can't fix.
-give her ice cream. all women love comfort foods when they feel down, and those foods are usually fattening. so she'll gain a few pounds (or have a burning twat), but no big deal. the reason she usually feels bad in the first place is because you don't want to be seen with her fat ass anyway. win-win.
-tell her to find religion.
-whip out your penis in front of her; all women are delighted to see a man's genitals. or at the very least, she'll be concerned that you're thinking of your cock in her time of suffering and she will be too frightened to continue.


one time I dumped a woman, and she didn't take it too well. I told her to stop crying because I only had one roll of toilet paper left. this only made her cry more, so I went downstairs and made myself a sandwich. when she came downstairs to see what I was doing, she had snot running down her nose, so I lost my appetite. of course, I asked her to reimburse me for the cost of the sandwich that I was no longer going to eat, at which point she exploded even louder. it seemed like no matter what I did, she'd keep crying and begging me to console her, so I told her that if she took my videos back to the rental store, we could talk. by the time she came back, I had turned off the lights and pretended I wasn't home.

every time a woman starts to cry, a silent timer starts to tick inside a man's head. as each second passes, the man begins to wonder when it's safe to go back to playing video games (or degreasing her twat). the reason he doesn't know what to do when she started to cry is because our natural response is to treat the women like a child; does she want milk? Does she need to be burped? Did she eat something off the floor that upset her stomach? this reaction is natural because adults don't cry. so when an adult does something that a child does, the only suitable response is to treat her like a child.

but now I realize that the man is afraid of discipline at age 22, and is fucking a 15 year old. so I hearby revoke everything I just said.

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link plz??

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I need to go get me some n64 games.

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